Chaborkia.com

Chinese New Year is the time to indulge in all things high cholestrol.

On our family’s reunion dinner, we prepared Buddha Jump Over The Wall- all things high cholestrol yummy cooked to a nice broth.

And something explicit happened during the cooking process.

Apparently, my hoi sam (sea cucumber) decided that it didn’t like my fish, and eated it.

Om nom nom.

Seeing that my hoi sam refused to behave, I cooked it and eated it too.

- END OF EXPLICIT CONTENT -

Introducing, the extensive menu for a family of 5. Mom not included.

This post is remarkably boring to my standards, but it will forever hold a special place in my heart because I participated in the whole process of cutting up prawn guts and slimy hoi sam preparing the dinner! It was time to ask my mom sit back and relax and let me and my sis-in-law run amok do all the dirty business cooking.

And I feel an upsurge of affection and admiration towards my mom - definitely a Super Woman that won’t break a sweat when cooking up 101 dishes in a go.

Happy CNY to all of you! :D May the appetite of the hoi sam be with you. :)

Say HELLO to my new and long-awaited gadget.

By no means the most expensive, glossy, luxurious, high-end or -insert descriptive term- camera in the market, but what gives, as long as it captures colors accurately and decently for me to post in mai blog.

If I want shots like THESE,

I am NOT naked wtf. Taken with Akonana’s Industar 50mm lens from Russia. Terror kan? -.-

I’d get it from the Canon boy bf. I fully know the limitations of a point-and-shoot camera when compared side-by-side with a DSLR. :)

But, it doesn’t mean I don’t love my new Nikon.

The antique Canon boy ought not to be jealous.

And my webcam is still the best because it emphasizes my cuteness and decreases my skin’s flaws. XD

Seeeeeee so chio without pimples. XD

PS: Parents leaving tomorrow. Am a bit down but I know it’s for the best.

Is the sky mourning for the Bukit Antarabangsa victims too?

In my desperate rush to avoid the 5 pm rush hour, I made a grave mistake. Grave one indeed.

Will you call me a big princess (大小姐) for complaining about this? I don’t really care liao lah, but anyhoo I’ve noticed that 10% of my blog goes to ranting bout my hatred towards ANY bus serivce other than Metrobus.

*Sees you yawning in boredom*

Yet another Metrobus hate post, you say? Yeap. Read on if you want, but this time, to make things interesting, I’d write it via a third person’s perspective, ala ang moh style.

Let’s say I was an angmoh (a pretty dumb blonde with blue eyes, long eyelashes and boobies that beats any Asian ones around in KL) from a land far far away, grateful, amidst the lousy public transportation service that Malaysia provides (or lack thereof), to see a bus parked at the side of the LRT station, as though ready to take off and bring you to your next final destination.

Excited to set off in my tour, I hopped on the bus after asking the conductor whether it goes to X destination. He just waved me in and I considered that a non-verbal yes.

First things that I register when I hop on the bus,

• I thought this is a multi-racial country? Why are they of all the same tone? o.O
• And fuck, the stench is disgusting. *Tugs at imaginary traveling companion’s sleeve* Hey, I sees some drug addicts. Look at their eyes, so creepy!
• And… Why the freaking hell it ain’t moving? Hello, I just saw not one, but several buses pass by and it’s still not moving. And damn the hamsap looking conductor just collected my fare and I am pushed to the back by the smelly crowd and I can’t move. *choke choke*
• After much mental urging for the bus to move, it finally did. And it moved with a WHAM on the pedal.

As I was thrown off balance, I landed upon some guy with bloodshot eyes, looking at my overwhelmingly un-Asian boobs (I’m writing from a dumb blonde’s perspective remember?) What’s wrong with these people? Are they sexually deprived? My goodness.

Although I tried very hard to avoid the 5 pm rush hour by hopping on to some unknown bus, as opposed to RapidKL which was recommended, I still needed to face the terrible jam.

God, what a grave mistake. Since I can’t avoid it, why the fuck didn’t I just wait for a more decent bus to travel on?

And it’s STILL smelly. Jesus Christ (Let’s assume the angmoh I’m impersonating is a Christian), these people don’t wash their bodies! Or for that matter, their hair! Do they not have any decency to cleanse themselves and be rid of their BO? Urgh.

So here am I, ranting off to you in my humble little blog, via an angmoh’s view to add a bit of LULZ, about the terrible 1 hour that I was stuck on the bus from hell - SJ Bus. Yeah, I know in my previous posts I say Metrobus, but really, any bus driven by people of unknown nationality (I know you hate me for being racist but there you go), it’s like a one-way ticket to hell - Something is bound to happen sooner or later, with the way they drive. In fact, how the fuck they got their licences, I don’t know. I’ve known people who are too financially challenged to afford the rasuah fees to the JPJ, but hey, how the hell did these unknown malat lou (who probably have AIDS or herpes) get to pass their licence? They so rich meh?!!!!!!!

Okay let’s continue with story, if I haven’t bore you off, lol.

The ride was uneventful as I stared out of the window, dreading my decision to board this bus. As we were stuck in traffic, a cat couple was pumping away furiously to reproduce some lol kittehs.

A fierce round of laughter and giggles erupted from behind me. Two *race removed to prevent myself from being called racist* women were in fits of hysterical laughter. I have no idea why. Are Malaysians seriously sexually deprived? My god! It’s just cats mating, ain’t no big deal.

As the terror ride continued, we met a dead-on traffic jam right ahead. The driver gave an almight swerve, and we were thrown off our feet.

At this point, I was feeling pretty scandalized. But to my dismay, I see several *race removed to prevent racism* laughing about it. God damn it, your lives are in the hands of a herpes-carrying unknown nationality fella, and you’re still laughing? Just an inch more, and you’ll be thrown not off your feet, but OUT of the bus. And there you are laughing. I am already god damn worried about my life, thank you very much.

AND, as we were pushed deeper and deeper into the bus, the stench simply prevailed. It never goes away, rather, it thrives in the presence of so many unwashed bodies. God damn fucking smelly. FUCK! Why did I not take RapidKL. T.T

When we were jostling to make room for the new passengers, a *race removed to prevent racism* woman stepped on my toe with her fucking ugly Carrefour brand plastic high heels and never bothered to say sorry.

That’s it. I’m gonna blog, youtube, Myspace, podcast or whatever means to broadcast how Malaysia is a TERRIBLE place to travel. Ungodly public transportation with sexually deprived people all around me.

She not only failed to say sorry, but she avoided my gaze when I looked at her with my big blonde eyes (in real life, I have small single lidded eyes damnit, just imagining LOL). I didn’t know Malaysians were that rude (generalizing I am, shoot me you shall not).

Then at the very end of the bus ride, the bus made a great turn to the place where I did NOT meant to go too. If I was really the dumb blonde in my story, what will happen to her? She’ll probably me raeped by sexually deprived idiots and get thrown in no man’s land. Poor thing. Luckily I’m a local with a sarcastic twist, sitting here writing to you, safely at home with my Vostro.

This is getting tl;dr, so I guess I’ll stop here.

Anyhoo, first and foremost I’ve gotta apologize to Zikri, Igor, Hangie, Massie and any others who might be offended with this racist post. But it’s true, the *race moved* refers to yours. But you guys rock, you should be much more almighty to be one of those I’m talking bout, aye?! ;)

K lah end of my rant.

Night. :)

Slow leh, my updates? Tell you what lah, I’ve been busy like fuck preparing for the cultural exhibition exclusively designed to make TARC PR students suffer, and right now my assignment marks are about to be blasted into oblivion just because of some freaking hyprocrisy. Or not?

This event has

drove me up the wall,
made me shed tears,
pull my hair out in agony,
scream at my innocent boyfriend,
made him by driver that I so hurtfully need to wake him up from his beauty slumber just to get a saree-clad me to college (kononnya CULTURAL event),
made him do me favours because sudden last minute changes that happens as often as how bacteria breed,
made me update my blog less,
left me precious little personal time for anything,
lessened my time for my mother,
made my e-boobies rust in the Interwebs,
make me FUCKING pay 100 bucks to rent a last minute saree just to get that fucking piece of TRADITIONAL (some citation needed?) cloth to suit the freaking occasion when I have two sets of Indian dresses that are left to rust.

AND

made me stayed back in college, unable to leave or had to leave forcefully because my mom simply do not allow her daughter out till 11 pm or 12 am in the (next) morning.

And unfortunately, growing up in an environment where all the students are out living by themselves and enjoying the so-called ‘freedom’ that they gained by leaving their families behind in their hometown to further their studies, often my pleas to go back early are unheard. Though I’ve gotta admit, it really makes my heart hurt to leave behind all the work where I’m supposed to be part of them, doing all the work. At least I did my part, right? But, with all those delays, postpones, sudden changes that are as frequent as how rabbits breed little rabbits, preference of TALKING rather than ACTION, what’s that could be done very fast was always delayed, till the very last minute.

Gosh, before I sat down with my sore thighs and haven’t flipped open my dear Mr Vostro, I didn’t know I had emotions welling up inside me. My mental state was a wreck no thanks to unnecessary pressure given by certain people. I really dunno whether should I elaborate more further at this point, as I *think* some involved people are reading the chaborkia’s innermost thoughts through a channel not known as her very own mouth, but, through an electronic media, namely a ‘blog‘. A freaking blog readable by EVERYONE, any tom dick harry, any pervert who surfs porn and happen to stumble upon when in search of ‘big boobs’ in Google. So yeah, I shall shut the fuck up thank you very much.

And… Since I need to shut the fuck up, I think I have nothing more to elaborate. TIme to sleep. It will be a long night tomorrow… And that will put an end to all the suffering we have to go through… Then exams are to smack us surprise buttshecks style right after the stupid event. Fulfilling learning experience it was, but was it worth compensating all the trouble? I really dunno.

K good night. Have been sleeping 1 or 2 ish lately. Sigh. Poor blokes who need to stay later than that, I kudo you all. Please don’t scoff at me being lazy, it’s my body, really. It’s screaming at me for some rest.

Pics of me in saree? Cannot guarantee, have been snapped by random tom dick harrys, I dunno where my pictures will end up. Maybe in a Edison Chen-ish scandal? Photoshop style? Bwahaha.

This is getting long-winded. Good night, for real.