Chaborkia.com

Funny how when my fringe is in varying lengths, it frames my face into a totally different style.

Have it long, and I will look like a dopey idiot.

- haiyah sudah cut hair too late to pose for a dopey pic -

Have it short, and I look like a China doll.

Some people might say that I look fukken childish with the short fringe, but who cares? Better embrace my childhood youth than dress up into the 25 year old aunty, when in fact, you’re just the same age as me, hmmm? ^^

Envy me. Muahahaha.

Pixar, you guys NEVER fail to amaze me. NEVER. Not one single time.

What can I say about Wall-E? You guys were so smug about how great a movie it will be, you guys don’t bother to put in more details in the trailers huh?

If it weren’t for the heated buzz surrounding this robot, I wouldn’t even flip an eye over this movie.

But gosh, I was so wrong. You can NEVER underestimate the work of Pixar Animations Studios. Lousy trailers there were, but whoa, you guys took me totally by surprise man!

Kudos man, and what are you waiting for? Get your butt to a cinema and Watch Wall-E! The robot with the charm that can outshine any human alive. :D

Dear,

The thought of the future is simply intimidating, especially for those who have yet to learn to leave everything behind to further their studies.

I gained reassurance when you told me that we shall be studying in the same country.
But darling, do you remember this promise? Or was it a playful thing said to a girlfriend just to please her for that few seconds when you’re having that particular conversation?

All your plannings for the future are all very well, but have you ever considered the hardships of maintaining a relationship without seeing each other? It’s not a month or two, it’ll be years. Everything that you’ll be doing, it’s for the benefit of the decades we have in front of us, but what about the measley few years that we don’t get to feel each other, to see each other?

Perhaps the mindset of a girl and a guy are different, but to me, those little times matters a lot. It’s not about betrayal or seeing new people OR even have our love dissolve into nothingness because of distance. It’s really not, dear. Because I believe in you and myself. But, it’s more of the hurt of not being able to be with your loved one when you badly need them the most.

And your promises of doing extraordinary things to maintain our relationship when we are apart. That’s all very well, but do you think it can be done? There’s already plenty of small little obstacles planted along our way, it’s irritating enough to get on our nerves sometimes. And it won’t be cheap to do so, Skype or not. AFAIK, if you want a reliable Skype service? Pay lah! Easy.

I will not be able to express all this to you face-to-face because I think I will dissolve into a blabbering idiot who cannot get her points through properly when she’s all emo. So here am I, writing this post for you.

And this post is not about making you change and drop your decision to study apart to suit the way I want it to be, it’s just to get the point across to you - it won’t be easy dear. I appreciate all those plans for our future, I really do, but do give in a bit of effort to make sure we’re within reach, at least? And not parted by seas that are impossible to cross unless I were a daughter of a billionaire who can pay for my exorbitant love of buying air tickets to travel back and forth to see my boyfriend? HAHA siao.

Come to think of it, if I had all those riches, I think I wouldn’t be immersed in a pure love like ours, we’ll be spending riches like crazy instead of savouring the finer things in life that money simply can’t buy. I’d be god damn happy just to share a bowl of RM3.50 pan mee with you rather than go for fine dining every weekend like some couples do. See? Your darling is not that spoilt and pretty considerate afterall, huh?! ;)

By this time I think you’ll be at a loss of what to do, but what do I really want? I cannot list it out properly for you. Perhaps I just want your assurance that everything will be fine, rather than flood my emotions with talks about ‘how this is all for our future?’ I know this is all for our future, but it won’t be easy for me, dear. As it won’t be easy for you too. And maybe, I’d want a little more effort in making sure we can fulfill the tiny little promise you had, at the start of my post?

Or perhaps it’ll be good to be without the burden of worrying about your other half when she’s not around with you? I don’t know. So far the love you have given me is just too good: I have never had moments of ‘oh fuck I can’t do this because my bf dun like’ or anything. Have you? If you feel suffocated at your choices do tell me because I wouldn’t know.

Oh ya, and as a disclaimer, kindly disregard this post if we end up, at God’s hands, yet again in a creepy position and wound up being in exact same place to study. That is really up to God to say, I will not know which uni will accept me and whether my best choice will tally with his.

On a lighter note for the readers alarmed at my sudden emo-ness.

On a conversation with my dear:

Me: But what if you long for me?
Bf: What kind of ‘longing’ do you mean?

-.-

Okay I didn’t mean it to have another corny meaning, but really. :x

As a conclusion (fuck a habit instilled by my uptight English lecturer), come give me a hug hug, dear? Dun flood me with ‘future’ talks liao, I reaaaaaaaaally UNDERSTAND your good intentions!!!!!!!!!!! But please, hope you understand my thoughts too. Anything dun understand please ask me oh. Live life now, sometimes the present and near future matters too, even if it may sound insignificant compared to the ‘far’ future that you’ve been talking about. Everything counts, just like how your long term friendship instilled a trust between us that no one else can compete.

Love you~

Slow leh, my updates? Tell you what lah, I’ve been busy like fuck preparing for the cultural exhibition exclusively designed to make TARC PR students suffer, and right now my assignment marks are about to be blasted into oblivion just because of some freaking hyprocrisy. Or not?

This event has

drove me up the wall,
made me shed tears,
pull my hair out in agony,
scream at my innocent boyfriend,
made him by driver that I so hurtfully need to wake him up from his beauty slumber just to get a saree-clad me to college (kononnya CULTURAL event),
made him do me favours because sudden last minute changes that happens as often as how bacteria breed,
made me update my blog less,
left me precious little personal time for anything,
lessened my time for my mother,
made my e-boobies rust in the Interwebs,
make me FUCKING pay 100 bucks to rent a last minute saree just to get that fucking piece of TRADITIONAL (some citation needed?) cloth to suit the freaking occasion when I have two sets of Indian dresses that are left to rust.

AND

made me stayed back in college, unable to leave or had to leave forcefully because my mom simply do not allow her daughter out till 11 pm or 12 am in the (next) morning.

And unfortunately, growing up in an environment where all the students are out living by themselves and enjoying the so-called ‘freedom’ that they gained by leaving their families behind in their hometown to further their studies, often my pleas to go back early are unheard. Though I’ve gotta admit, it really makes my heart hurt to leave behind all the work where I’m supposed to be part of them, doing all the work. At least I did my part, right? But, with all those delays, postpones, sudden changes that are as frequent as how rabbits breed little rabbits, preference of TALKING rather than ACTION, what’s that could be done very fast was always delayed, till the very last minute.

Gosh, before I sat down with my sore thighs and haven’t flipped open my dear Mr Vostro, I didn’t know I had emotions welling up inside me. My mental state was a wreck no thanks to unnecessary pressure given by certain people. I really dunno whether should I elaborate more further at this point, as I *think* some involved people are reading the chaborkia’s innermost thoughts through a channel not known as her very own mouth, but, through an electronic media, namely a ‘blog‘. A freaking blog readable by EVERYONE, any tom dick harry, any pervert who surfs porn and happen to stumble upon when in search of ‘big boobs’ in Google. So yeah, I shall shut the fuck up thank you very much.

And… Since I need to shut the fuck up, I think I have nothing more to elaborate. TIme to sleep. It will be a long night tomorrow… And that will put an end to all the suffering we have to go through… Then exams are to smack us surprise buttshecks style right after the stupid event. Fulfilling learning experience it was, but was it worth compensating all the trouble? I really dunno.

K good night. Have been sleeping 1 or 2 ish lately. Sigh. Poor blokes who need to stay later than that, I kudo you all. Please don’t scoff at me being lazy, it’s my body, really. It’s screaming at me for some rest.

Pics of me in saree? Cannot guarantee, have been snapped by random tom dick harrys, I dunno where my pictures will end up. Maybe in a Edison Chen-ish scandal? Photoshop style? Bwahaha.

This is getting long-winded. Good night, for real.

OMG, a hand!!!!1

What should I do with it? What to do, what to do?!!!!!!!!1

Being the glutton I was, I eated it.

Pimple scars not removed via Photoshop to emphasize that the Chaborkia is a living, breathing human, with raging teenage hormones.

Kthxbai.