Today is the day where my group mates dreaded. We were to deliver a presentation for Chinese Writing for Mass Media. It wasn’t just another presentation - you can’t get away by doing it cin-cai style. THIS. IS. SERIOUS. BUSINESS. The lecturer had high requirements for this one.

Year 2 is one hell of work for us. So managing this presentation into our cramped timeline was a bit hard. But we still managed.

Regardless of how much pains we got throughout this, we still enjoyed ourselves tremendously. When my friend said that this will be the last time we will be touching any Chinese subjects in TARC, it struck me pretty hard. No more hard preparations for REAL presentations (usually we get away easy with lame presentations). All of this hard work will only fade to a memory, something that we’d be discussing when we’re old and grey and sit in the kopitiam.

Okay this is getting too melancholy and far-fetched. As of now you’re expecting that we did a good job on the above mentioned presentation? Right? Riiiiiiiiiiight? And you’re dying to know why blogging can affect the sanity of your lecturer?

The answer is NO, we did not do the best, to answer the first question. We did well, but it wasn’t the best. Proceed reading to know how blogs can affect the sanity of your lecturer.

Well to be exact my group mates did a great job. Although, compared to last semester’s Chinese presentation, where we rocked everyone’s ass, we did pretty poorly this time. Besides needing to squeeze lots of time for preparations for this presentation, there are 101 random homeworks to be done. Not a mean feat, nope. Simply nia. YEAH REALLY! *rolls eyes*

Anyway, since this blog is about me… I shall talk about myself. Yes, chaborkia’s vanity mah. ^^ Anyway, I said my group mates did a good job right? Sadly, he word ‘they’ does not include me. T.T

I sucked. Like shit.

I delivered so poorly and even though I wasn’t on the frontline as the main talker and I was behind the computer, my hands were shivering ever so terribly. >.<

Still remember my previous entry about me being a bundle of nerves after I ran up and down the stairs and my blood was pumping rapidly in my veins? Exact same scenario. I lost my cool because I was at home busy printing and giving the assignment a final checkup and wound up being late to school. That means we NEVER had a rehearsal before the real thing. And, I needed to run here and there on heels and a laptop bag on my back. I know one of my team member did the same thing to prepare, too. Poor gal, her heels were sharper than mine. :(

It was disaster in the making. Go on, if you dunno how to spell ‘disaster’, spell my name good enough lah hor, guai~

Okay now that you know it’s a disaster, I think it’s ’nuff said. I thought all was lost after the botched presentation and I walked out dejectedly when it was my turn to go out and give a concluding speech regarding my thoughts on this assignment and my thoughts on the interview process (our subject needed us to interview random people all over the streets T.T) to end the whole presentation.

That’s when it started.

I dunno what the hell happened, but as I start to relate our story of our somewhat successful interview sessions with the random anons, my lecturer’s expression grew from stern to soft then to pure amusement. She was grinning so widely, I was shit scared. Was there some weird big spider on my head? Was my makeup accidentally wiped off? Was there bogey sticking out of me nose? I have no idea.

Thus, I giggled along at the sight of her amusement, somewhat amused as well as confused.

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Turns out it WAS my fault she’s laughing. Or, to put it this way, SOMEWHAT my fault.

The way I portrayed myself… The way I gave my speech… It amused her. I have no idea what sort of facial expressions I plastered on my face. It somewhat amused my classmates and particularly, her. I was standing directly in front of her, walking around, picking on unsuspecting victims as I related my interview process mishaps to others.

She giggled to the extent that she was shaking on the chair. She was in giggling fits and was burying her face on her arms to muffle her laughter. That freaking got me nervous again! T.T Then I asked her again, what’s wrong?! She said, never mind, you’re entertaining, please proceed.

-_-

So was that a compliment, or what? Turns out I suck hard at doing FORMAL presentations. I really do. Several of my previous speeches, whom I depended heavily on notes to recite, turned out LOUSY.

Is the above scenario enough to illustrate that what I lack is confidence, and confidence regarding the matter? I was uber confident when I told my story to my classmates but I was totally defunct of any shred of confidence I had when it was my turn to do a mock interview during my formal presentation. Chabor, time to ditch the small notes, right? ;)

And what, you ask, has everything I’ve written got to do with blogging?

Well, I dunno the exact reason why some people love to haunt my blog, but a good beefy friend of mine told me it’s the style? The way I illustrate things? I guess that style came out during my speech. It wasn’t intentional, mind you. Since I wasn’t well prepared, I just went and talk like I have nothing to lose, when ACTUALLY I am thinking I am gonna lose my mind due to the stress and stage fright. And along the way, a lot of hand gestures and walking around, using body language to illustrate my points?

After some hard thought on what I can do with my new found ‘talent’… I went and asked my mom what can I do with it.

Then it struck me.

‘I know! I know!’ I told my mom.

I can become a CLOWN!

Lame way to end my blog post, I know, but grade me for effort okay? I need to rush my English assignment now, jeez. Bye!

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