Chaborkia.com

Whaddaya know? Ya Hui came back home in a not so good temper. Came and sit down to face Mr Vostro to type an angry post. But after looking at the jumbled up bad Engrish (sorry Ms Lim, I phailed you. I still dunno what the heck simple past tense is because I copied it from Christine), i decided not to publish. But for friends who want to see bad Engrand in the making, you can seek the password from me. :)

So after I gurgled out a load of junk-deserving Engrand, I was hesitant to press ‘Publish’. So I left it there and went to meet the loved one. Got crowned an ‘aunty’ during our therapy session - Lethal to surrounding people, beneficial to oneself (dunno what is it right? You don’t have to know coz I’m a selfish chaborkia and am not gonna tell you ho ho ho.)

And you know what? Tiger therapy worked wonderfully to ease my mood. He hardly comforted me with words, usually it was hugs and very silent listening to what I had to say. But this time it’s a breakthrough, he actually gave me a peace of mind by giving me a piece of his mind. :P  Amazing what a guy could do to ease a girl’s mood. I love you darling~ And just for my record, you look adorable when you found out I posted your picture in my previous post revealing your ARMPITS ho ho ho. Catch me if you can. :P

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Mmmkay, now back to business. Bringing you live from Chaborkia.com, is a tragic news. There has been a terrible freak accident which happened in Puchong, near IOI mall. I dunno where the heck it is, but I have a vague idea. People who haunt Puchong frequently should know about the infamous roundabout right? Famous for it’s crazy congestions.

Well, it was a crazy junction and a fucker container truck tried to run the red light. But instead of saving the fucker’s precious few seconds in trying to transport the items (yeah reaaaally, you think they’re so hardworking? Not! More like impatience and trying to drive fast and mad just to get the day’s quota off his back), he ran into the poor people at a junction. This, my dears, is a vague interpretation of what information I could gather. The rest, I think let’s hear what our morning news have to say. :(

A moment’s of silence for the victims please.

No one deserves to die like this. Being a friend of a person who died of a car accident, DUE TO A FUCKING SPEEDING MAD IDIOT, my heart is really sore and goes out to these people. In fact, I have become an utter paranoia when it comes to all these. Long distances drives makes me fidgety and crazy rush hour traffic has me white-knuckled. Ever since that accident. Some people really don’t love their mothers - Never mind if you don’t love yourself, at least give a thought to your mom who sacrificed so much to bring you here. Was it worth all the pain to bring you here, when you’re running mad across the street risking you and other people’s lives? Damn you reckless drivers.

A picture of the tragedy stolen from Lowyat.net.

Need I say further? More pics here.

Please, drive safely. And damn you, stupid government and private organizations. AND, JPJ who approve mad drivers everyday to be set loose on the road. I still remember you turning a blind eye on people who did poorly on driving exams. I’d rather fail it 10 times to get it right rather than get a half past six licence then struggle to learn how to handle the road properly. Not everyone has the thought of learning to handle it properly - Some people are not fortunate enough to be educated about the dangers and so they’re set loose into our roads, imposing a danger to both themselves and surrounding people.

To cap it all off, 上梁不正下梁歪～

Who’s to blame? Besides the accused driver, who else? Think, peeps. The root problem hasn’t been solved, we must pity the fucker also. Simply because, the accused is also a result of a negligent system.

Good night, and say a prayer to those who are affected by this tragedy before you retire.

Today I’m going to talk about…

Balls.

Some appetizers before I proceed.

Some insane woman who presumably went mad and succumbed to the pressure to satisfy the longing of male species by getting bigger boobs. Epic boobs girl, you phail liao.

Want more? You Google by yourself lah. Enough liao hor? Don’t go to the toilet to… Erm, never mind. Just don’t hop off to pr0n sites after you see this, lol.

I hope, up till this point, you’ll realize I won’t be flashing mai boobies after all the effort to look for these pics. Instead, I’ll bore your balls off with…

*Ta da!*

Yes! Balls indeed!

I went to learn golf with my dear! He he… He needs to impress some uncles, so he’s making some effort to excel in golf to gain their hearts. Is the first step to infinity and be- Ah, never mind. stop cursing me for having an overactive imagination. XD

Never mind uncles. He already gained my heart. *Love Love Heart Heart*

If you must know, I didn’t go to some fancy rich-ass place to play. See lah the place so lauyah nia, so stop calling me a rich bitch.

We use batang to hit boobs balls.

Speaking of batang, let me share with you something I saw with my own eyes. Wanted to blog bout it but I think it’s so sick it doesn’t deserve a post of it’s own here.

I was standing in the LRT, no place to sit during rush hour thank you very much. Then, when I was typing a SMS, my eyes were somewhat distracted by the women sitting right beside where I stood.

She was SMSing with her sayang, no doubt. Nothing exciting. So to prevent being a snoop, I looked away. Then I proceeded to daydream. Then, her BF replied her, and my eyes strayed to her phone that was ringing (disturb people daydream leh) : bang punye batang nak pussy kau ni.

It’s NOTHING absurd really. In fact, dirty talk is a common thing between couples right? But, the point is, ever heard the saying those wearing a tudung usually more gatal? I dunno. I am just enlightening you on the saying. And by saying that, saving my cowardly ass from big flames later on. Bleh. And, I thought the holy laws of Islam prohibited sex before marriage? She looks too young to have a hubby IMHO. I might be wrong, but oh well, just sharing the story. :P Be a good sport, and save your flames for the next idiot you see on the Interwebs mmkay? ;)

Oh, where was I now? See lah so many batang, kacau nia. Erm, oh yeah. After golfing, I was pretty excited and prayed that all the twisting will twist away me flabby tummy. But, dear had a craving for MegaMac because of advertisements (The things a good ad and basic psychology could do to humans, hmmph!) that has been pretty frequent of late.

And what has balls got to do with this, you ask? I dunno. Really, I’m putting this because it seems that natural human psychological nature prompt the person to click when they see any of the keywords ‘pr0n, boobs, batang, sticks, holes, whatever’. PSYCHOLOGY again! Ha ha, gotcha if you really did come into my blog because you’re interested to see what boobs the chaborkia is saying. :P

For those who are hesitant about the MegaMac, I’ll just brief it with a few words and pics.

- 3 buns
- 4 pieces of beef damnit! Yummy~
- Lots of shredded vege and pickles
- Sauce!!!111 OMG!
- Cheese~

Here are pics of da MegaMac:

Fuyoh! Look at the size of that thing!

*Stares at his cheeks dreamily and dreams of kissing it*

Ending this post with a bang. Ha ha no lah, just wanna show you pandemonium on my way back. Thanks to crazy, under-development of our roads by our dear gahmen, we need to face this. Now where are the fat ass police when you need them? Damn it. Come out from your yumcha lah, you guys are as bad as lazy college students.

Time to do my assignments! My to-do list just keeps getting longer and longer and I need to accomodate my superhero second life Internet life in accordance to my busy schedule. Sigh!

Nice night to sleep, especially after wrestling with someone just now. K lah, good night ya all. :)

Funnily enough, I have family and friends alike who say this to me.

It’s a bad habit, it’s a big mistake, please don’t learn what I did.

But, this is where the joke kicks in - If you know you’re doing it wrong, why are you continuing to do so? Never mind if the person is in the process of changing, it takes a lot of time and effort. I myself have extremely bad habits that I wish to overcome so to save the sanity of the people involved.

Second but (my Engrand is so poor I continue liddat loh, chui meh?), if the person doesn’t seem to have the intent on changing, and continue to do what they condemned yet advice others not to follow, then what about themselves? Why, after they realise that the prospect of what they are doing might be hurting themselves, they still do it?

I tak faham. Or, are they still in the stage where they have yet to realize their misdoings? If yes, I do hope they come to their senses fast. I do not wish them hurt themselves or others around them.

And the first step to making a change, isn’t it being conscious of your misdoing? I dunno you, but I think it’s pretty unforgivable if you continue making same mistakes when you realize it. Of course, we’ll be tolerant of the ‘healing stage period’, if that’s the case. But please, do realize your mistake. It’s not like there’s no turning back and it’s the end of the world. PLEASE! I might have drove my parents or my boyfriend extremely mad several times but in the end, love prevails. So don’t worry, your loved ones will give you all the time you need including some hard lessons to knock some sense into you. Just break the habit and get on with life leh.

In the end, it’s all about you, being proactive, to make the change possible? Yeah, I guess.

Oh, did I mention? You have to overcome procrastination and laziness too. After that, you’ll grow wings and fly, LOL.

Night!

*Crawls to Mr Vostro and loads up Firefox 3 to mai blog*

I’ve just finished summing up my speech for this Wednesday. Hey peeps, I miss you all. What have you been doing? :)

It has been a turmoil this morning because I needed to do so many things at a short period of time but it’s fun and fulfilling at the same time. Now I finally have some peace to sit down and bring you a blog post.

Anyway, I’ve been rushing a lot of paperwork lately. Which means, a hell lot of writing. After going through hell in English class, it struck me pretty hard. Do we REAAAAALLY have to follow the introduction, body, conclusion format to write? What happened to good old fashioned writing in freestyle?

Or, do you agree with an English teacher’s teachings, and follow strictly by the ‘intro, body, conclusion’ rule? I do it, but vaguely.

Every English lesson that I’d ever had is so automated, I think if there wasn’t a free place to express myself, I’d degenerate into a boring old scumbag who can bring you grammatically articulate paragraph that reeks of strict consistency AND boredom. -.-

For a chaborkia who believes in freestyle writing, it’s pretty hard when I see that my expected A in English has a minus attached to it all because I don’t like to follow the conventional method of writing. Maybe it’s my writing, maybe I got carried away? I. Did. Not. Follow. The. Engrand. Rules. And, think it this way - If your essay clashed with thousands of others writing in the mundane format, wouldn’t you give more credit to the kid who made you LOL? Hmmm?

Yes, I prefer to let flow my emotions and effort into writing my passages. It seems absurb, but my high school English teachers are pretty fond of my writing style. But, I got warned time and time again that I need to tone down to meet the ‘formal writing’ requirements. T.T

So boring hor? And now, my latest assignment seems like if I dun use ‘intro, body, conclusion’, will die. And with that GREAT lecturer (you anal-retentive bastard - gender changed to protect the cowardly chaborkia) of mine, it instantly turns from a suicidal death to death sentence. Difference? One is self-induced, one is forced. Urgh.

But I do know it’s a must for a basic skeleton for you to start anything. Just like writing. But I what I am really trying to say is the style, you know what I mean? I’m not good with words lah. *Fakes a shameless blush*

It’s no wonder Malaysians are lacking in the creative department, not saying the people who does wonderful graphics, like the Stadium Astro. That’s a fantastic ad! But those extremely distasteful ads? Puh-leez. Tell me, anyone enjoys our Malaysian advertisements? I don’t. Some, but as a whole, nope. So strict and have to abide by all the rules. Wait, abide by the rules? Yameh? I don’t think so de?

Did anyone see the Olympus camera ad? ‘Never see the sky so blue, wadda wadda…’. That model is apparently shaking her silicone boobies (which I hate so zealously because I don’t have any), trying to distract men from their prayers. Come on, whine so much about REVEALING school uniforms, it’s time to ban this ad, people. Start a protest and share your story about not being able to pray properly, okay? ;)

I shall end this blog post with the above sarcasticly nonchalant statement, without a conclusion. Good night people. ^^